Occasionally I get questions from my readers (Hi Mom!) asking about this or that thing I post here. I thought rather than sending off several exculpatory emails, I would address some common themes in a single post and put all these wild rumors to rest.
Q: What's with the name?
A: What's with your face? (Heh. Burn.)Well, in thinking up a title for the blog, I though to myself: Self, what's the best way to convey our post modern condition in a sentence fragment? And then it hit me: I'm a dude, and stuff happens. The truth probably lies in a Simpsons reference, to be honest. I just rattled off the first prattle that came to mind, and kinda liked it. Plus, it's got that extra, marketable kick of being easy to spell and really has that zing of sticking in the mind. Like a really catchy commercial for a local furniture store.
Q: How true are these stories? I mean, really.... Running over a Little Person on your bicycle?
A: 100% true. All of these posts are things which happened to me, perhaps tarted up a bit for the funnier parts. Names have been changed (or not) to protect the innocent, but the rest is hands-on-a-bible true. (No offense, Your Holiness.)
Q: What's the best way to get oil stains out of a shirt?
A: Cover the stain with baby powder and let rest for several hours, as much as 24, then wash as usual. You'll thank me!
Q: What does your Significant Other feel about the Condom Story?
A: The fact of that matter is, my girlfriend is more awesome than your girlfriend. She is unbelievably supportive and encouraging, not just of my writing, but pretty much everything I do, and I love her to pieces. She understands that this happened in the past, years before we ever met, and has no bearing on how awesome we are as a couple.
I guess I should take this opportunity to let the world know that she and I are expecting a special joyful delivery very soon. Yes, it's true! We just ordered a pizza!
Q: Dear recipient,
Avangar Technologies announces the beginning of a new unprecendented global employment campaign.
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Due to company's exploding growth Avangar is expanding business to the European region.
During last employment campaign over 1500 people worldwide took part in Avangar's business
and more than half of them are currently employed by the company. And now we are offering you
one more opportunity to earn extra money working with Avangar Technologies.
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We are looking for honest, responsible, hard-working people that can dedicate 2-4 hours of their
and give you a chance to work mainly from home.
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Please visit Avangar's corporate web site (http://www.avangar.com/sta/home/0077.htm) for more details regarding these vacancies.
A: Hell YES. I am very interested regarding these vacancies and have gone ahead and emailed you my mailing address along with my Social Security Number, my bank card pin number, my blood type, three copies of my house keys, and fresh DNA sample.
Q:What does the future hold for ThatDude?
A: Jet packs and unicorns, mostly. I'd like to be even more open with the things I'm writing. My friend Sada writes an incredibly funny blog wherein she publishes things she wrote as a teenager, presented and deconstructed with the snark and wit of her older self. First, I wish I saved more of the things I had written as an angsty teenager. Second, I do have a bunch of poetry I wrote in high school. (Isn't that cute? I wanted to be a poet when I was growing up). I have a huge notebook full of them. Huge. And, as the premise would suggest, they're Terrible. I've been trying for over a year to get myself to publish at least one of them here, simply for the Lulz but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can feel my face burning with embarrassment any time I endeavor to read some of it. Sad, really, that the world is being denied my gift.