Knock it off, Facebook.

Stupid Facebook, with your endless distraction. Why do I hate to love you so much? Prolly the same reason I love to hate you. What drives me crazy is these stupid ads in the margins. Who the hell are they aiming these things at? I mean, seriously. For real. Knock it off.

"36 Years Old? Become A Cop!"

Whoa. I'm 36 years old. Maybe I should become a cop! Makes perfect sense. Maybe I can become a cop while growing corn to feed to my mafia. These ads are insidious. Like the mythical Hydra, you click away and another springs up in its place. Insanity inducing.

But the ad that sent me off the rails was this one:

New Recession Relief

Americans with over $10k in credit card debt are now eligible to legally remove up to 60% of it thanks to a new relief program.

What the hell is that, Facebook?

WHAT.
THE.
HELL.
IS.
THAT?

Look at it, Facebook! Look at it!



It's incongruous. That picture and those words make no sense together. Is that the Debt Relief Troll? If I answer his Questions Three, will my debt magically disappear as he gambols off into the forest with my student loan under his arm, giggling and grunting under the weight of it? This image is now seared into my brain, Facebook, and I'm mad at you for that.