Sunday, July 12, 2009

Songs that, despite my hating them, get stuck in my head on a regular basis

Sometimes I think I've been cursed. I'll get an idea, or an image stuck in my head and I can't get it out. The stuck songs are the worst. Very rarely will I get a song stuck in my head that I actually like. Usually, it's a song I hate, or worse, a jingle, as in the time late last year when I had this insidious tune from a commercial by that awful scam lodged in my brain, playing on endless loop for at least three weeks. I felt my grip on reality loosening. I wanted to jab a sharpened stick into my ear and extricate these poppy demons. I guess that's what sucessful marketing is all about. You be the judge:

So following is a list of just a few songs that I seem to get wedged into the gears of my mind on a regular basis, and whatever inane mutterings I care to add about said song.

1. Blinded by the Light.

I actually don't really hate this song. I just find it repeating Ad Nauseum recently. I suppose it's my own fault, as, when I heard it recently, I began "writing" a parody version of it. It's called "Goddamn those pants are tight", and I really didn't get much further than that. It goes a little something like this, or something:

Goddamn those pants are tight!
Dressed up like a douche
you know that you're a hipster, right?

Goddamn those pants are tight!
Dressed up like a douche
big sunglasses at night?

Goddamn those pants are tight!
Dressed up like a douche
have you got your bangs done right?

2. The Joker.

Again, this is another example of me trying to entertain myself by inventing parody lyrics to this awful, awful song. Where Steve Miller writes:

I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, Ill sure show you a good time

I go:

Really like canned peaches
Diet Coke is caffeine free
Huggy huggy in a Snuggie it costs $12.95
Ooowee baby, buy a Corona, get a lime...

Also, I genuinely hate this song.

3. Dude Looks Like a Lady

This one is the worst. THE WORST! I hate this song for its insidious ability to lodge itself so tenaciously in my brain for HOURS, usually right before I decide to take a nap. Man! Once upon a time, Aerosmith was actually a pretty good band. Toys In The Attic was a great record, IMO. But this is the absolute nadir of midlife mediocrity. Self-indulgent crap. I fucking hate this song, as well as this era of music in general. It just serves as further proof that, as a band, once you stop doing drugs, you start sucking.

Stay tuned, misanthropic hipsters, more to follow.


Jon said...

God DAMMIT!!! Now I have all four of those looping in my head at once.

Brandon said...

Mission Accomplished.