A Series Of Sent Text Messages

5:43 pm: A photograph of a dead squirrel on the bikepath. He looks drunk.

9:17 am: A photograph of a man dressed in full Boston Celtics regalia being lead away by security at the Boston Municipal Courthouse. It was jury duty, and the Celtics had just won Game 1 of the Finals. Sent with this text: "[sic] this guy is drunk off his ass. a great way to avoid i guess. wish i had thought of that."

6:17 pm: A photograph of a man urinating on the platform of the Jackson Square orange line stop. Sent with this text: "nothing like taking a piss on the subway platform"

5:56 pm: A photograph of Cock Flavored Soup Mix.

11:12 am: "i done split my pants"

11:48 pm: "I have semi-colons;"

11:51 pm: " (o)(o) (_(_) "

7:58 pm: "fung wah fatality this morning..."

2:46 pm: "would it be too forward to invite myself?"

9:15 pm: "o.m.g. i will never ever have a child. details later."

4:30 pm: A photograph of a little yellow mushroom growing on one of my houseplants.

2:30 pm: "oh the benefits of having a foodie for a brother..."

2:40 pm: "omg i was just going thru my sent txts and stumbled upon my junk. lol."

2:34 pm: "let's just say i'll be getting that pony gold plated."

2:42 pm: "followed by a caviar bath"

2:45 pm: "i already bought canada, so... mine."

8:54 am: "im wanted in ct on $ laundering charges. id have to wear a fake moustache, itd just be weird. youre better off going without me."

3:10 pm: "yeah! lets blow something up* ***"

10:55 pm: "extra sexy panties?"

9:37 pm: "poor little tomato! what did he ever do to you???"

9:43 pm: "whoa.thats like, star wars deep..."

11:16 pm: "gtf outta here. no way."